Where did you last abandon a preference?
Think of a recent choice: plans, pace, boundaries, sex, money, family. Did you say the true preference out loud, or the easy one?
Easy is not the same as kind. Easy often means you paid so the other person did not have to meet you.
How do you practice staying present?
One preference, stated once, without over-explaining. Then watch whether the relationship can hold a real you.
If the pattern is hard to name alone, a private read at kionese.com can hold one concrete week without performance.